Why Retreats Are Necessary and Needed

A retreat is where we enter 'slow time' and give time, time.

It was an important day in my life when at last I understood that if Jesus, needed forty days n the wilderness at one point, I very likely could use three or four.

—Dallas Willard

Photo by Shelley Pauls on Unsplash

Over the ages, spiritual retreats have been woven into the fabric of the spiritual life. Religious festivals, and special times of celebration and retreat have been a rich part of the Judeo-Christian experience.  As our culture becomes faster and we live in hurried time, I believe retreats will, once again become essential and necessary to right-size our upside down way of living.

A retreat is a span of time where we give time, time. We get out of the way. We enter wilderness time; slow time and unhurried time to invite the Spirit to hover over us and brood something else into creation—perhaps someone else into creation.

We must learn to give time, time.  In a retreat, we move slow.  We move with intention to move us to the Center of our Souls where God can speak.  As Richard Rohr reminds us: It’s not God that is absent from our lives. What’s missing is our awareness. A retreat allows the awareness to percolate and come to our right minds.

I wrote a book with my friend, Peter Ivey titled, “Solo: Creating Space with God.”  It’s a beautiful and needed outline of a flow of retreat which could be one day or a few.

Like most things in life, we need a bit of coaching to know how to “do” a retreat.  Why do we need coaching? Because the Western mind is shaped by learning in a left-brain sort of way: logic, linear, sequential. But as we learn, Spirit time moves not in this way but in more of a beautiful flow. Over my life, I’ve led hundreds if not thousands of retreats. They have been the space, where I have most found God and myself.

Perhaps, it’s said like this:

We must unlearn how we view time; how we lead people; how we thought the Spirit works and just let go and “let” a retreat unfold.

Having just returned from leading a retreat called, “Come Before Winter,” I was able to give shape to a few essential elements in a four time span of time that might be worthwhile for consideration.

·      Music was led by a violin, harp and keyboard with live musicians. We sang only a few hymns/songs but most was instrumental to allow time in wordless reflection and a space to “come down where we ought to be.” I told our guests that all the music would be different from what they might be use to in their churches or places of worship. Probably, “canned” music works but, if you can use “live”. It’s more organic.

·      All the afternoons (after lunch until dinner together at 6pm) were free time to rest (napio-divina), reflect, take walks; drink coffee or tea with a friend and enter linger-time—that time where the soul can catch up with the body.

·      Intentional ways to break our large group down into small tribes to do lectio, Daily Examen and sharing in smaller settings to create more community and more opportunity for sharing.

·      The weather, which I had nothing to do with, was marvelous. The peak fall leaves where in full display.

·      We did Lectio Divina (an ancient way of reading Scripture) in smaller groups to allow more time to share than we could have done in our large group of 67 people.

·      We did the “Daily Examen” in our smaller groups and for many, this was a first time to see how this ancient exercise works as  a tool to reflect upon the last 24 hour span of life.

• Lots of space to be quiet; be in quiet together and in solitude.

I think these best and lasting comment that I will remember is from a man who walked up to me after the retreat was over and said, “Steve, the only thing I know to say is this and he said one sentence that unpacked his entire inner weather and world. His name was Jim and he said:

“Here’s what happened to me, Steve” He took a big, long breath and said: “Jim, meet the new Jim.” In saying this to me, he was confessing that he would return home an entirely new human being and I believed him.

It was an “un-conference” and most of the feedback given me was about how vital it was to have a relaxed schedule.  It was not “chop-chop”. It was slow and easy. Even in our times together, I found myself editing and re-thinking what I “thought” should happen next to a sense of what was really needed—what did the Spirit want of us and for us. I omitted alot. I left out things that the retreatants would never knew was in my agenda to “do.” It was enough to be. Just to be—is a great motto for a few days away.

While we were not happy about our venue with some logistical things, noise things and such, it was a deep time; a slow time and an important time. Nothing is perfect. Not even an intentional retreat. Entering a retreat shaped by this realization just helps.

I’m curious about what some of you might share in the “comments” about what you have considered to be essential to a retreat. Feel free to share. Let’s learn together.

To help me with the reflection of the entire retreat, I wrote a poem which I’ll include here. In the poem, I offer in some phrases the key “lines” I wanted to remember that where shared and the inner landscape that I traversed in leading the retreat. I begin with the realization that the retreat, which I planned for a year, is now “over” and how this makes me feel. The line which describes a man in an “orange beanie” is about the poet, David Gate, who I asked to come give a reading on one night of our writing. As he read his marvelous poems and as I watched our retreatants, I found myself actually thinking, “Hey, maybe it I go get an orange beanie, my poems might find a place in the hearts of people.”  It was put in the poem sort of tongue and cheek but since I actually thought it, I thought I’d be transparent about my own inner desire to become a better poet—like David—or perhaps more like my true self.

This poem is based on the Apostle Paul’s urgent appeal to Timothy to “come before winter” and to bring a few essential things. The passage is found in 2 Timothy 4:11ff and is a window into the vulnerability, humanity and aging human being named Paul. I spent alot of time sitting with that passage in thinking of how to stitch his retreat into a warm quilt of love. It is a rich passage with all the components of a time to recover from the effects of the long season of Covid; political discord; personal exhaustion and the rising questions of our time in which we live right now.

 This new poem is for those who choose to support my emerging work as a poet. Special thanks to those who have chosen to support me in this way ($ 5 per month). It’s a tangible way of saying to me, “Keep going, Steve. I believe in you in this way). But if it’s not possible to do this and you want full access to my poems, then just write an email to info@pottersinn.com and we’ll add you, no questions asked.