The Primal Ache for Companionship

How a poem becomes a song!

In every soul, there is an ache. This ache is primal. The longing is deep. The yearning is universal. It is the ache for a companion, a friend, a soul friend or as the Celtics say, an “Anam Cara”. Friendship assuages the ache within.

Since the beginning of time, we have heard the words, which we recognize as the primal longing of our heart, “It is not good for a person to be alone.”[1]

This “not good” diagnosis of our human condition moves us out from our protected silos—our private and disconnected lives, to find, connect and unite our hearts in the holy gift of belonging to one another in relationship.  Since we are created in the “image of God”, this image is best understood as Trinity—a mysterious union of distinct and diverse personalities and entities. Since we were created in the image of God—who is in relationship, we, too have this imprint in our own souls. This imprint is deep inside every soul—every race, every tribe; every ethnicity and gender. We are not at home; not fully ourselves until we live life with someone else. This union in friendship, marriage and companionship is at the heart of what it means to be fully human. We need relationship to flourish. As the Beatles sang, “I get by with a little help from my friends,” we each know how true this really is.

In the closing years of the Apostle Paul’s life, his longing for his companions to come visit him was so pronounced to the point that Paul, included his very personal and deep ache and invitation in his letter to his friend, Timothy. He wrote “Do your best to come before winter…”[2] Paul needed companionship. He was alone in a Roman prison. Hostile forces arrested him and Paul was forced into the silo of a prison. There he lamented a life he knew and lived—a life of relationship. Before he died, he wanted the incarnational “Presence” that brings comfort, fire, joy and contentment. In this lament, he wrote his friend to come be with him. He knew that companionship would offer him the warmth, presence and assurance that life alone does not and cannot.

I wrote a poem based on this deep longing of the soul. I not only wrote the poem but shared my poem with a friend whom I knew well through monthly conversations over the years. In my soul, I heard this poem as a song—not just as a poem I asked my friend, Barrett Meyers to put the words to music. He did just that. So, we collaborated together and the song is the fruit of our labors.

Together, with a little help from our friends, the new song, “Come Before Winter” is released wherever you get your music: Spotify, iTunes, Amazon Music, etc. Just go there and you’ll find it. Gwen took this “cover” for this song. Two roses in full bloom basking in the late afternoon sun in the Blue Ridge mountains. It takes many hands to make something like this happen.

It took the lyrics, the melody, voices (Barrett’s wife, Joelle sings with him) and violin to make this come together to reveal the ache within each of us. It took a year to get almost two years to get “Come Before Winter” to the point we felt we could share it with the world.  Last September of 2023, I invited 75 people to be “with me” on retreat in the mountains. The retreat was titled, “Come Before Winter.” My talks were all based on this story and ache show in Paul’s life and ours. It was on that special retreat that this song was first played live. It was a tender and significant time to all sing this together. Now, the song is read to be sung everywhere.

As you listen, perhaps, you will find yourself imagining who it is that you want to say, “Come Before Winter” to have time and space together. Maybe you’ll hear this and envision this very song being used in your churches of all shapes and sizes.

Soon, on music platform sites, we’ll have music and chord charts available, so stay tuned. I’d so appreciate you helping us share this around. Would you?

Here’s a link to “Come Before Winter” on Amazon Music! click here to go to Amazon Music

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[1] Genesis 2:18

[2] 2 Timothy 4:17

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Come Before Winter
Lyrics: Stephen W Smith
Music: Barrett Robert Meyers
Copyright @ 2023

[Verse 1]
Winter, spring or fall
You're my all in all
Oh the desert makes us dry
and the rapids of this life
leave us wiped
[Verse 2]

I’m not a shining light
Burning out not burning bright
My first love is feeling like
fourth or fifth right now and I
sigh and breathe you in

[Chorus]

Is there a word for my ear
Or a song we can share
In the quiet breathe the air
And our hearts, our hearts revive

[Verse 3]
All the burdens that I bear
Conflict everywhere
Oh and all my hopes and fears,
every worry every tear,
Lord I bring them here

[Verse 4]
No one thrives alone
Creator bring us home
Like a forest for the trees
Lord I need community
and your breath of life

[Chorus]
[Bridge]

Moses had his brother, Ruth had relatives
Martha had a sister, Lazarus had a friend
Paul asked for a companion, now I ask for mine
Come before winter, come anytime

[Verse 5]
You with me is what I want
Your Word and touch is what I need
I can feel you pull me in,
and the fire burns again
For all the world to see
[Chorus]