The Lingering Jesus

Trying to Understand God when God doesn't act like the God we want and need

Photo by Wim van 't Einde on Unsplash

In these weeks of Lent, I’m working through the themes of my book, The Lazarus Life. It’s a joy for me to deliver five talks on this subject at my little mountain parish on consecutive Wednesday nights, here in the greening Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina.

These are the days of Lent. These are the days of awaiting the resurrection of nature and a story we need to; get to and have to hold on to in our lives. Winter is not the final word. One season in our lives does NOT last forever. These are the days of anticipation Easter—that Great day when we are all invited to become Easter people—people who are marked by hope and not despair; people who are offered a different way to live and a way to practice our own resurrection (as Wendell Berry says).

This particular book grew some legs and began to move out into the world and has now been published in ten languages. One of the reasons why is the chapter I am focused on this week—The Lingering Jesus.

In this chapter I dive into the issue that we are faced with many, many times in our lives when God does not show up on time. In the Lazarus story, Jesus lingered when he heard that his dear friend, Lazarus was very sick. For some reason, Jesus deliberately chose to not show up—to linger.

The Lingering Jesus—- do you know him? Have you experienced a lingering Jesus in your lives when you go through all the hoops; follow all the steps; do all the right things and still—Jesus doesn’t seem to hold up his end of the deal?

I’ve encountered the Lingering Jesus several times in my life. These times of waiting are excruciating. I have my expectations, you know. I have illusions of how God should operate in my life and even in this world.

I well remember four years ago when I was suddenly struck with prostate issues. In one week, I made five unhappy and painful trips to the emergency room for immediate help and relief. There was no flow—to put it simply! It was an agony I never want to repeat. But it was, unfortunately repeated for weeks and weeks and even months. One the last trip to the ER, I specifically remember praying and crying out in awful pain, “Brother Jesus, where in the world are you?” It was my vernacular way of asking God, the same question that Mary and Martha asked of Jesus when Lazarus died. The both said on separate occasions, “Jesus, if you had been here, THIS would not have happened.” As I laid there on that hospital gurney for the fifth time in one awful week, Jesus lingered and it has taken me a long time to forgive him for not showing up!

I’ve found myself, holding that same sentiment in these difficult days of Gwen’s recovery from a “reverse total shoulder replacement.” Unfortunately, she experienced severe nerve trauma from the operation and caused her level “10” pain. No amount of drugs or prayer seemed to be able to reach the source of the paralyzing pain.

This is the Lingering Jesus. You pray. You ask. You expect something to happen but it doesn’t happen the way you thought, the Bible said it would or some other unknown reason. Who wants a God that lingers?

Perhaps, it is our own illusions of God and our deeply held beliefs of how God should both act and treat us that needs some work.

The Lingering Jesus….do you know him?

Read this prayer. It reveals the Lingering Jesus in a powerful, profound way:

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Trust in the Slow Work of God

Above all, trust in the slow work of God
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something
unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through
some stages of instability-
and that it may take a very long time. 
And so I think it is with you.
your ideas mature gradually – let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, S.J. (1881-1955)

The Lingering Jesus offers us the invitation to work through our illusions about God. We have many illusions about God, ourselves, life and politics. We build up these illusions by believing and locking in on ideas and narratives we are told by authority figures or text we hold as holy and trustworthy. The Christian author and preacher, Oswald Chambers writes:

“The refusal to be disillusioned is the cause of much of the suffering of human life. “

Mary, Martha, Lazarus and even ourselves must face our illusions about how we think God should act in this world and in our own lives. Until we dismantle our illusions, we will never live in the truth and it is the truth that sets us free—not illusions.

To be honest, I think some of us have deep work to do here on our political illusions or any illlusion we hold that needs to be dismantled and dis-illusioned. When Jesus lingers, it is always an invitation to go to work on what we really believe; what we really hold to be true and what notions that need re-working in our beliefs and ideas. Some ideas about God and life that we have held onto in our lives may just not be true. Imagine that?

In my book and workbook on The Lazarus Life, I offer a tool which I’d highly recommend. It helps you dismantle illusions about church, relationships, God and even politics. I’ve heard from people all over the world who have found this exercise liberating and freeing.

As I have been with Gwen during this five long weeks of recovery, I’ve found myself, working through her pain, my response to someone I love being in such pain and the Lingering Jesus on a daily basis. I’ve found myself praying de Chardin’s prayer many, many times.

Take a look at de Chardin’s prayer again.

What line stands out to you? How does this one line offer your insight?

What phrase lands on you as a ointment which brings relief?

Read his prayer slowly. Print it out. Stick it in your pocket until Easter and work through illusions as they surface and see what gets stirred up in you.

Where is Jesus lingering in your life right now?

How are you doing in the slow work of this lingering business?

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I’m so glad to give an update on Gwen’s progress. Just in the last three days, she is seeing significant relief with the pain. We went to a doctor who specializes in pain management and his treatment along with our primary care doc, has brought such needed respite from the pain. Yesterday, she sat at her painting desk for the first time and began to paint again—a therapy for sure for her and me as well. Thank you to all who showed care and love to us in these lingering days of recovery. It will be a slow journey ahead but now our discouragement is assuaged with progress and Level 1-2 pain in the day time. The pain is worse at night when she is still and trying to sleep.

Seeing her in such pain really did disillusion me and disturb me. It’s a part of the marriage vows we hope to never have to live out—but we will and we do as we know.

When there’s no quick fix, we surrender to the “Slow Work of God”—and we live in the intermediate stages of life—a life of lament and a life of hope; a life of regret and a life of promise. This is the power of awakening to Lent and what the spiritual practice of Lent can offer us.

Every Lenten Blessing and in anticipation of practicing our resurrection!

Steve