Somewhere in the Middle

Finding Our Place in the Cosmos

Photo by TopSphere Media on Unsplash

It was the English writer who penned these words with wisdom and insight:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

And with those words describing the paradox in our lives and the illusions in our hearts, we find ourselves betwixt and between. We find ourselves in the middle of it all—the middle of such a mess—the middle place where we cannot see the ending but we also are way to far past the beginning.

A time when we had everything in front of us, yet nothing at all is in front of us.

Paradox is that space we learn to hold in our hearts when two things are true at the same time. It’s not an either or kind of life any more. We’re going to have to learn to live in paradox and accept the gifts that paradox offers us.

In paradox, we loosen our grip on long held illusions about how life was suppose to work; how we thought we’d be in a different place at this particular time in our lives; how there’s a lot of darkness now but we still light candles and hold hope.

Most of us want comfort, not trouble.

But we realize that life is really both—comfort and trouble.

Life is consolation and desolation.

We learn to hold space for both and somehow, someway, we find our place in the middlle of it all—a place we may have once thought we’d never be; never end up or never really want to be at all.

I’m about to hit “cancel” on a “trip of a lifetime.” We had been sitting in a long que of a wait list to go on a pilgrimate to the Isle of Iona off the coast of Scotland—a sacred and thin space where Christian Celts found refuge and abundance for thousands of years. One of my favorite living authors, John Phillip Newell, formed a pilgrimage where pilgrims would travel to Iona and be with him for seven days of discussions, solitude, poetry, praying with monks and fish and chips.

Somehow, we got accepted when someone had to hit their own “cancel” button and their cancelation became our invitation.

But then Gwen’s total, reverse, should replacement surgery. We are eight days in and here at this place of reality, extremly limited mobility and doubt, I am finally facing the reality that I could not have imagined that we’d be facing. We may not get to go.

It looks so doubtful—even after hearing from our first physical therapist session. She’s only suppose to “dangle” not ever wiggle her arm at all. No movement. Nothing.

Secretly I go look at the calendar and see the travel date, the last date we could leave to make this pilgrimage and I wonder, “Could she be ready by then?” How is it that on one day, she can’t even wiggle her new shoulder and then in a combined number of days ahead travel thousands of miles to a remote island and enjoy the “trip of our lives.”

I am living in the middle.

I think many of us are finding ourselves living in the middle of a political story.

I think many of us are living in the middle of a whole new world unfolding in our midst.

I think some of us are living in the middle of the struggle for racial justice.

I think some of us, like Native Americans are not even, yet still in the middle of their struggle.

I think of the many marriages who are in the middle of their vows but are envisioning a whole other life.

I think of teenagers living in the middle of their dreams and longings and the world they will be inheriting from us soon.

I think of my friend with cancer, in the middle of their chemo-treatment and yet, so, so far to go.

Let’s face it, the middle can be a hard place to find ourselves. So much unknowing is in the middle of it all. So much dangling dreams and pressing realities.

What do we do in the middle?

Well, today, if there is time, I’ll dig out emails and papers to see when the last day really is that I can cancel Iona.

Well, today, if there is time, I will pray for healing for Gwen’s shoulder and healing in my illusions of eating fish and chips in the fog on an island in Scotland.

Well, today, I will muster courage to read some news that will underscore, it’s not looking good for my Ukrainian friends or the upcoming TV footaage of Jewish hostage’s bodies being returned to their homeland.

In the middle of our lives not marked by chronology but by reality, we awaken to how life really is; how life really works and the place of faith in all of this.

This is the intersection of our soul and our world. WE are somewhere in the middle.

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My poem, “Somewhere in the Middle” is my voice giving brief words in paradox to much of what I am holding inside. The phrase, “somewhere in the middle” so well describes how it seems to be going for so many people I am hearing from these days.

Not at one extreme or the other—but somewhere in the middle.

See what you think.

I’d so love it, if you’d leave a comment of how this particular poem strikes you. Is there a line/phrase that somehow seem to be like a sonar light that lights you up so that you are seen and heard? I’d love to know. We all would.

My poems are here on Substack because my Substack subscribers cheer me on to give voice to where I am right now in my life—in the middle of it all, yet closer to one end, than the other.

If you are a “FREE subscriber,” wonderful—but here’s an invitation to take a step more into the middle with me by upgrading to a paid subsriber. You get all my poems and the first to know what is happening with opportunities ahead.

Every blessing! It’s so good to welcome the many new substack subscribers. I’m so glad you are here in the middle of it all, with me.

A few housekeeping items to be aware of:

1. I continue to post on the feature of Substack called, “Notes” and there I am placing fascinating quotes, ideas and gleanings from my readings. It’s a place I’m sharing what I’m gleaning and pondering but said by others. Make sure you have your settings on Substack to notify you when there’s a new note. Go here to see my NOTEs.

2. The Camino de Blue Ridge has a wait list —-but that doesn’t mean you won’t be accepted. Things change for folks. I’d encourage you to go ahead and fill out the brief application and get on the wait list. I’m exploring a way to allow space for just a few more—like four more people to join us. Go here for the Camino Link.

3. I’m very excited to be the leader/faciliator for my church’s Lenten Study beginning the first week of Lent. Our church is using my book, “The Lazarus Life” on a six week study and we’re having soup suppers and poetry to amplify our times together. I’ll be preaching at St. Phillips Episcopal church in Brevard, NC on Sunday, March 2 at 8am and 10:30 EST. Join us live through streaming on line or better, drive to Brevard for the day and join us.

4. I developed a simple, easy to use guide for the season of Lent where you sit with one question per day; walk one mile a day and prepare your heart for Easter. It’s available in a PDF for individiual or group use. Here’s the link to take a look!

Best,

Steve