"No"-vember is a Time Say NO in order to Live the "Yes"

Why soul care is urgent, important and non-negotiable after all we've been through

Photo by Owen Beard on Unsplash

It’s November and we all know it’s election time. But it’s really a time to access how we are really doing with how we have been living.

Most of us are deeply concerned about this election.  But soon, we will be through it and know the results. In a bit more than 24 hours from my posting this, the election will be over and we we await the results. But will “it” be over?

My concern is how shall we then live? How do we recover from all the negative speak; gutter talking, TV ads, discord, hate speak and disappointment that is inevitable regardless of who wins…there will be many losses. It’s all been dis-illusioning, disappointing and heart breaking.

It’s more than a little interesting to me to learn that the term, “soul care” was used most frequently and widely during the Civil War era of tension, conflict and bloodbath in the 19^th century of history. Families were divided. Lost was catastrophic and disunity, mistrust and fractures where the signs of those dark days. Soul Care became a term that surfaced because something needed to surface to offer hope, healing and recovery. “Soul Care” as a term was used more in the mid 1800’s in the United States than at any other time in our history. I’m thankful for the Google etymology tool that allows this kind of research. There’s something here we need to figure out.

We are in such a divided time again, I’m sorry to say. The toil on us has not yet come to surface. We’ve been to busy to think about what the cost to all of this discord that actually taken on us—on you—on me.

Enter Soul Care.

Soul Care begins this November, now by beginning to say, “No” to the many things that have drained us. “No”vember is a time to say “No” so, that we might say, “Yes” to our own healing and recovery. Life after this election begins with each of us. The healing and recovery is going to be personal, individual and beginning with each one of us right now and right here.

We say “No” to opportunities, events and people who stir us up rather than settle us down.

We say, “No” to toxicity on every level. No to toxic people who are still bent on sowing discord. We say “No” to listening to them and reading their rants on social media.

We say, “No” to anyone or anything that drains us—pulls us down—pulls us into negativity and despair. We say, “Yes” to life giving people; music, poems, art and nature.  Anything that brings us life—we say, “YES” to.

We say, “No” to being sedentary and we say, “Yes” to moving, walking, exercising and taking care of our bodies.  We say, “Yes” to health—physical health, emotional health, relational healthy, vocational health and spiritual health! All five of these categories converge in our souls and each segment of our self is important to care for every day.

We say, “No” to our trying to change people’s minds and convictions. All the energy we expend in our failed attempts to change people is energy that we now need to recover to live well, be will, act well and lead well.

We say, “No” to exceeding our output and “Yes” to tending to our input.  It’s time to come back to the essentials: Eat well, sleep well, rest well, work well, love well and to do this well, we will need to say, “No” to certain invitations and opportunities that seem more of a drain than a filling. We say, “No” to anything that drains. We say, “Yes” to what replenishes us.

We say, “Yes” to preventative care. Say “Yes” to getting your annual physical. Say, “Yes” to seeing a counselor. Say, “Yes” to finding a Doctor who could help you improve your mental health by getting on a anti-depressant. Think of it this way, if you could improve your emotional well being by 20% would you do it—do it for a while until you feel more stable; more yourself; more able to cope instead of living stressed out and maxed out all the time.

We say, “No” to living exhausted. The exhausted life is not an abundant life. To live tired, depleted and drained is no way to live. Look at the past months and few years as a season—a long season—an uphill accent to reach this plateau.  Now, is the time to make good choices and the first choice is learning how to say, “No” and not feel guilty or shamed by saying, “No.”

It may be time to choose a place to worship where there is more “yes” than “no.” Only you can decide your spiritual home. I do think it is true that the old adage which says, “Birds of a feather, flock together!” If your church feels negative and toxic, it probably is and may be time to just say, “No” and move on and out to a new place. In our moved to our new mountain town, our church has made the difference in our life re-set. It’s where we found people like us—people who grew tired of all the “No’s” and brothers and sisters who wanted to live with more “Yes.” Sometimes, a total re-set is required.

We say, “Yes” to beauty. Beauty is oxygen and what revives the soul more than anything is to experience forms of beauty. An ancient and wise person once said, “The ministers to the soul are the five senses.”  I believe this is true. Chase beauty and you will not get tired. Listen to beauty in music and you will revive. Taste beautiful food and you will be nourished in the soul as well as your body. Go into nature as much as you can and abstain from taking your phone.  Every day, walk in beautiful spaces and places. Chase Eden. Find Eden. Rest in Eden—even though no place is perfect, begin by chasing Eden every day for a few moments and just see what happens.

We’ve gotten through the election. We’ve voted.  But now, it’s time to vote for your soul and choose your soul.  This is not a dress rehearsal. This is our one and only life.

I’ve thought about the Civil War days much in this particular election cycle. In my ancestor research, I learned that the Smiths have a sad story of two brothers—each one serving in a different army. One wore blue, the other grey. One was killed in battle. This sad story could be repeated many times across our divided nation.

We stand now at a moment in time, where we need to assess the damage done and what each of us needs to choose to do to recover and live. Soul Care begins with the soul in mind. You choose to live. We choose to live well in order that one day we can be well, love well, relative well, work well and live well once again.

How we come together is not the question at this time. This is the time for each of us to live undivided and to live with a wholeness we have lost or has been hijacked or we have given away in our breathless culture and culture wars we have been fighting.

We begin to live by making the choice to live—the choice to begin and may this day, or whenever you are reading this article become THE day that you say, “Yes” to Life and “No” to what feels like death.

Take custody of your soul and make the choice to really live before you really die.

Say, “Yes” to your soul now. It’s time. And listen well to me here: It’s never too late to start living well.

Where to begin:

1. Get and read my book: Soul Custody: Choosing to Care for the One and Only You.” The Audio Book version is me reading it to you!

2. Get the tool, “The State of My Soul” and see how you’re really doing physically, emotionally, relationally, vocationally and spiritually. (Available individual use or get a Licensed version for permission to make unlimited copies.)

3. To review the past 12 months and to look back, look in and look forward, consider doing The Great Annual Examen. An exercise I put together based on the wisdom of Ignatius of Loyola who was brilliant and wise in helping us examen our lives. You look back, forward, in and up to become more aware of how you’re really doing—given all you’ve experienced in the past 12 months.

4. I’ve chosen to use poetry as one way I can learn to express myself and tell my heart’s condition in fewer words. My poems are portals into my soul. They show how I’m doing; what I”m thinking about and what is vying for my attention. If you’re not a subscriber to my Substack to have access to my poems, then I invite you to upgrade your subscription where you can be a companion with me and hundreds of others around the world. It’s a safe community. By the way, I’m using the “NOTES” feature on Substack to share quotes of inspiration and prayers of our soul. Many of you have found me this way and I welcome you here.