Before the World Ends

Holding Angst and Love in the Same Heart

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

We are turning our hearts for the arrival of all of our sons and daughters and all fourteen of our grandchildren for a summer time gathering of lake swimming; trail hiking and enjoying meal times together. This one week has been in the planning now for three years. Our family lives globally and it’s a challenge to be in one place at the same time. But by God’s grace, this will happen.

The table has always been an iconic place for me. The table is a gathering place for those that matter in our lives. The table is where we gather to do far more than to just eat. We touch shoulders; we rub hearts; we share love as we share the plates prepared for each other.

I have always loved and admired that Jesus used the table as his primary place to teach. Sitting together, we are perhaps the most vulnerable; the most receptive to listen; the most eager to be heard.

I’m setting up a very long table outside underneath the red bud tree in our yard. There will be a chair for each one coming. Two dozen souls will descend upon our house in just a few short days.

But, as as we prepare for our gathering here, trouble looms in our fragile earth. Tension is high. Words of nuclear bombs stir up nothing but angst, dread and deep concern.

How do we hold such a global tension in the midst of a storybook week in the mountains with our family? How do we integrate the brutal with the beautiful?

When I sat down, this poem began to emerge out of my heart where the angst and anticipation; brutal and beautiful; care and concern all have taken up residency inside my heart. This is life isn’t it? It’s never all one or the other and this is the tension that makes us human; keeps us alive and forges courage in the heart.

I envisioned the two polarities inside of many of us—the brutal and the beautiful sitting side by side in the hidden chambers of my heart. This poem is the result of holding this tension of hope and fear; joy and sorrow; and longing in our fragile world.

I do think we are all in a time where we need to express our love and care for one another. Say the words, no matter how they might lodge in your throat—go ahead and say them—even in a whisper—even in a poem—perhaps in a prayer book.

I hope this poem might give words to your own thoughts as you read the poem.

I hope I will have the courage to read this poem to my loved ones who will gather soon. It will take great courage for me to read this but I am going to try—even if I whisper the poem.