Becoming Intentional

Moving onward, forward and through the quagmires of life will require intentionality!

Photo by Jan Huber on Unsplash

I’m looking for some guardrails to build on the freeway of life that will keep me from running off the road and hitting unnecessary dead ends. Without having at least two guardrails, I could zig-zag my way through another year and perhaps all this crazy living might really cost me the one thing I truly value these days: a meaningful life. I’m needing some words and ideas that can keep me focused; keep my eyes on the road and help me live with wisdom rather than mere speed.

In an earlier post, I shared about my “Word” for the year. I shared about the beautiful word, “commend” and how this old and unused word has something to offer someone like me to know how to bear all the burdens; care for all my loved ones and feel a sense of freedom and peace for me, myself and I, to just have more peace in my inner world. Here’s the post, in case you missed it. The act of commending is one of my guardrails. I need to tell you, in using this concept of “commend”, I simply do feel lighter and more at peace—despite so many in my circles who are not doing well at the moment. But, I felt the need to have one more to give me a working metaphor, so to speak and an image to keep my soul from running off the road and running my life on empty.

My other word for the year is: Intentional. Being intentional will offer me another guardrail and give me a way to move forward in life.

To be intentional is to act with intent; to be deliberate; to galvanize my inside world to meet a challenge facing me.  To be intentional is to foster a convergence of my will, our courage and some action steps needed to move me onward and through where we find ourselves right now.

Why is there an opposing force within us called, “resistance” to being intentional? To be honest, for many of us, there is resistance to being intentional. I wonder why that is?

What rises up within us that says, “You really don’t need to be so intentional—so concerned about this and that. Just chill. Be more laid back.”  Resistance is the counter force we feel that says, “Coast”, “Remain neutral here”,  “Raise your own Swiss flag on everything from politics to weight management”, “There’s nothing you can really do. So, quit trying so much.”

Giving into resistance is a repelling feeling that is like a Novocain shot to your will power. You grow numb. You are low in the “caring” quotient of life and love. In the spiritual world, giving into resistance is called,

“Acedia.”  It is a place of an unending desert—a  place of giving up and enduring. In a season of Acedia, we are lazy. We are sloths. We don’t have an ounce left within us to take a step that we know, mentally, will help us or move us forward. We give in. We give up. How’s that for a word—no one wants at all?

This morning, I read Kristen Powers, wonderful Substack on Resistance. Read it and see what you think. It gave me fodder for the fire in my belly. Perhaps it will kindle a fire in you as well. Here’s the link to come back and read her.

Steven Pressfield describes this resistance so well in his “The War of Art”:

 “We feel like Hell. A low-grade misery pervades everything. We're bored, we're restless. [W]e want to go back to bed; we want to get up and party. We feel unloved and unloveable. We're disgusted. We hate our lives. We hate ourselves. Unalleviated, Resistance mounts to a pitch that becomes unendurable. At this point, vices kick in. Dope, adultery, web surfing. Beyond that, Resistance becomes clinical. Depression, aggression, dysfunction.”

Sadly, I think Pressfield has diagnosed our cultural dilemma correctly. His words describe life in this post-Covid, election year; divided, paralyzing and busy yet nervous world we are navigating. Which word or phrase of Pressfield’s quote can you most identify with? There are several for me as I ponder this. I dissent. ( I actually may need a third word: Dissent, as I move more into the year. By the way, my article on “I Dissent” is my most read Substack ever. Interesting.

With my dissent to live in Acedia, my Star Word is “intentional.” Let me explain.

In some liturgical churches, on Epiphany Sunday, folks pick out a “Star Word” from a basket and take it to be their word for the year.  Single words are printed on a star, symbolizing the quest of the Wise Ones who traveled with great intention to find the light. In doing this though, you don’t get to pick your word. Rather, the word ‘picks you’ as you choose one word from the basket.  A friend noted this week that their word on the star was “curiosity.”  I like that word.  But what if, your word was “intentional.”  What do you need to become intentional about?

Here are some categories, I’m mustering courage, will and effort to be more intentional this year. As I list my own, see what these trigger in you. Leave your thoguhts in the comments so we can all grow and colloborate on new Star Words or GuardRails for you:

1. Community: To become more intentional about my sense of community.  Being intentional in the domain of deepening friendships is a focus for me. It has to be. I don’t do shallow well. I don’t want shallow friendships. I can’t live well when I’m only in the shallows. We’ve met some wonderful people in our new mountain town but only intentionality will move acquaintances into deeper friendships. With this in mind, I’ve invited seven people to form what Parker Palmer calls, a Circle of Trust. A Circle of Trust is an intentional way to build a safe, sharing community where conversation deepens and trust builds. Through the Circle of Trust process, sacred space will be created where we can learn to listen deeply and support one another in accessing the voice of our souls and inner lives.  In his book  "A Hidden Wholeness", Parker Palmer describes a circle of trust as

"the kind of carefully created space that invites the soul to make itself known - the kind of space where we can practice the paradox of "being alone together," a space that welcomes our inwardness even as it connects us to the gifts and challenges of community, and to the larger world.

Being new means for me, that building and deepening friendships simply would not happen apart from this kind of intentional fostering of a few relationships where I sense potential, capacity and a desire to go deeper.  We begin this week and I’ll let you know how this is working. It’s a risk. But it is a risk with great intention.

2.     Health.  Being intentional about my health requires daily focus; good choices in eating and exercise. When I did “The Great Annual Examen”, an exercise where five aspects of the soul are “examined” through a series of questions and reflections, I saw how I had coasted in my health with all the transition, changing doctors and move. I’m going to make choices to pay attention to my health and desire my well-being, rather than putting my body on auto-pilot.   What this looks like is going to a fitness center to workout four times a week. “Motion is lotion” as I learned while recovering from my back surgery two years ago! The risk and resistance here is that it is sheer foolishness to not be more and more intentional about my health. How about you?

3.   Slowing and Sabbath  We live in a culture where speed is celebrated and busyness is applauded. There are no Emmy awards given to those that cease well. Our fears of not wanting to miss out; being available and being needed drive us to live in a perpetual state of exhaustion and feeling empty. I simply cannot live that way any more.

Wayne Muller writes so poignantly: “Because we do not rest, we lose our way. We miss the compass points that show us where to go. We lose the nourishment that gives us succor. We miss the quiet that gives us wisdom. Poisoned by the hypnotic belief that good things come only through tireless effort, we never truly rest. And for want of rest, our lives are in danger. How have we allowed this to happen? This was not our intention; this is not the world we dreamed of when we were young and life seemed full of possibility and promise. How did we get so terribly rushed in a world saturated with work and responsibility, yet somehow bereft of joy and delight? I Suggest It Is This: We Have Forgotten The Sabbath.”

Without ceasing; without stopping; without slowing, how can we live with great intentions and live with awareness? I can’t. So, more than ever, slowing and Sabbath are more important, perhaps then ever before.

 I choose Sabbath and I will become more intentional than ever before to have a time of ceasing every six days. I will also be intentional to space out my meetings allowing me time to reflect and integrate key take-a-ways from these encounters rather than living as a hummingbird flitting and flickering without intention.

4.   Inner Resilience. Unless I care for myself, I simply cannot live well. Can anyone? Like so many, I am growing in my deep concern over all that we are facing. With so many areas that seem out of control and seemingly so, so big, that I can’t change, I can ony become more intentional about my own inner resilience and well-being.  I have to start with me. I have to be the one space where I can do what I know to be right and in so doing, know that when I am in a good place, I can share my peace, my joy and my hope with those who are feeling depleted emotionally and spiritually. 

5. I will be intentional about aging.   I am the new young old, a classification that seems to fit people in my age span. We’ve just arrived at this new foreign land and there is much to learn.  I want to learn. I want to integrate and I want to apply life lessons and wisdoms in how I can age well and be well for as long as I can. I will read. I will collaborate with my doctor. I will grow in wisdom and yet, I will age, if God allows. While it is a privilege to age, when so many die too soon, my intentionality means that I will talk about this and not ignore this reality. I will assume the posture of a student and assimilate the wisdom I need to hear. It’s going to require great intentionality to do this well. The resistance to being intentional here is unintended disease, pain and isolation.

So, there you have it. My two guardrails are “commend” and “intentional.” I feel like what I’ve done here is to make a safe way forward—a way in the woods—a path that I can now live and move forward.