A Gap Year

Taking time for new beginnings and good endings

Photo by Andreas Brunn on Unsplash

A gap year is a term often reserved for high schoolers before they begin higher education. But let me tell you straight and true, people of every age need periods of time to re-think; examine; question and dream about their lives—no matter the age, stage or season of life.

As I look around and survey the landscape of our culture, time of life and stresses, a gap year just might be what the doctor might order for many of us.

I know…I know there are many excuses of why you might say, “I can’t do this. This is for the privileged few. I can’t afford a gap year. But before you through water on this idea, just keep reading. Don’t fight me on this before you even do a bit of self-examination. As a culture, we are too quick to judge; too fast to say ‘no.” We are too slow to choose to pause; to driven to reflect; too tired to pray. Perhaps this essay and the poem might shift something inside of you.

The best time to take a gap year is before it’s too late to take one at all. If you’re feeling twinges of burnout or smell the smoke wafting up in some area of your life—the time is more now, than later.

Inside of the human soul is a deep capacity to know, recognize, awaken to and dream new dreams. A gap year is an intentional season of life to re-examine the direction you’re headed before you hit one of life’s many cul de sacs and are left spinning, dizzy and confused about feeling trapped or at a dead end.

Here’s the truth: It’s never too late to just reflect a bit on one’s life and lift up a sail to see if a new breeze might offer a new direction for you—a direction you’ve always wanted but never had the courage to hoist the sail to catch a fresh wind.

Taking a gap year or period of time is a way to honor buried dreams, discarded longings and deeply held yearnings for a different way of doing your life.

Bravo for staying the course. Cheers for crossing the finish line of a career, staying in your denomination for all your life. Kudos for living in a specific place that’s held your soul—perhaps for too long. Be glad as you can for the past. That’s important to be grateful for the good you’ve received; the good you’ve been able to do thus far. But there’s more…

This is not about discarding a life or relationships that has nurtured you; helped you and enabled you to live your life. But it is about pausing, reflecting and honoring your heart’s desires. A gap time is a time to consider your desires that have not been given needed attention to grow, foster or even help bring you back to life right now.

A friend of mine recently came to the end of a long career. His work and life demanded survival skills to navigate all the whitewater he faced in his life, health and vocation. He said to me, “Steve, I don’t have a clue about my future now. How can I “retire” or “reposition” my life when all I have is fog, clouds and dark questions about having enough and being enough.”

In our discussion, I suggested him taking a “Gap Year.” In this gap year, no decisions would be made at all. No new paths taken; No downsizing; re-sizing or no major decisions. I suggested taking a year—a whole twelve months to rest from the grind, travel and open his heart to just possibilities—being cautious to make big decisions until the end of his twelve months.

Ignatius of Loyola (16th century) once gave very, very wise advice that I have heeded and offered to many:

“Make no decision when you are in a place or stage of desolation.”

In other words, when you’re depressed, depleted, drained or living like the dead—don’t make any decisions about the future. Why? Because these decisions when made in dark times of our lives will most often lead to cul-de-sacs seasons where we spin and live even more drained rather than experience renewal and personal resurrection. A gap year is giving space to not decide. It is a space to trickle charge your soul and to simply experiment with ideas or possibilities.

A gap year, in the words of the poet, scholar and writer, Wendell Berry is a time to “practice resurrection.” It is the word “practice” that is key here for it is a term filled with possibilities not edits; not lists of why one can’t take a time to reflect, ponder and dream again—no matter where they are ; how old they are or all the other lists you’d add up here of why you can’t do what I am describing.

This is month two in his Gap Year. He’s taken one trip with his family. Two more are planned. In our talks now, I notice a shift in his countenance. Rather than a look of dread and bewilderment, I am seeing a light come back into his eyes and inflection in his voice—all good signs of a trickle charge for his soul.

I’ve written a poem about “A Gap Year.” My poem casts a vision of some of the why’s and a few of the how’s to actually consider a Gap Year.

Gap years are far more than a time to re-think vocation. In COVID, Gwen and I moved across country to begin our repositioning. We took a Gap year from church. We just needed space from even trying church. The layers of dust needed to settle before we could see more clearly about what we really wanted.

A Gap year might involve a pilgrimage; a course; a study group, a new place to visit and dream; a new way of looking at the world—while you can. ‘While you can’ is important in this consideration about one’s life.

You might have a buried dream; a longing covered up by survival; a yearning to do something; go somewhere; an inkling about re-sizing your life and soul. This is the “stuff” to give one’s self to during this intentional season of being betwixt and between.

A gap year is mustering the courage to not decide anything—but to simply rest, explore, consider, dream and re-tool one’s life in some specific and tangible way.

A gap year or season could be shorter than a year.

There are no rules here. But the idea of taking time could actually be a life-saving act.

You be the judge.

Here’s my poem that I hope might inspire you. I’d invite your responses as you can. I’m interested to see how this one stirs up the mud or gives a bit of clarity.

I’m working on a “Gap Year Reflection Guide” with questions, poems, suggested articles, quotes and books to consider. I’ll have that ready for you soon where you can download it and use it.

I’d encourage you to get my new book of poems: Greening: Poems in the Unfolding of our Lives and to read a poem a week, no matter if you are in a gap time or not. It is a collection of reflective poems and essays that help explore the inner stages and seasons of our lives. Go here to learn about or get GREENING

To read my poems, you’ll need to adjust your subscription level. My poems are available when you move from a “free subscriber” to a space where you’re actually supporting my work and writing. Thank you for the new subscribers! You are most welcome here. I’m so glad you found this space.

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